I thought about that for a while, and coincidentally enough, while I was thinking about it I heard these facts:
70% of people live together before they get married
Of those 70% you have a 50% greater chance of getting divorced
and over 50% of marriages end in divorce.
And I thought about how all that fit together (and it does, stay with me here)! I thought, if only people could think about marriage from a more biblical standpoint. My wonderful hubby bought me a new Bible while I was away, The Message, (you should check it out). The way it states the common "love verses" from Corinthians is interesting to me. It is easily understood by everyone...maybe this should come with every engagement ring!!
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
I thought the way that lays it out is so simple!! Why can't people understand these simple concepts? Why can't people understand that marriage isn't some complicated concept that God doesn't understand?
Even Christians seem to have a problem with that one...for example:
We've been told (by Christians) that things are different now than when the Bible was written, and the concept of "no divorce" was outdated!?! Mr. Goodbar and I are very forthcoming with the idea that we will NOT end in divorce, we tell people divorce isn't an option for us...and they don't seem to get that! People ask me, "how do you know that" or "what if he cheats on you" or "what if your husband hits you, are you saying you would stay with him?" Now...I will answer every one of those right now:
"How do you know that"--because my marriage is a covenant between my husband, me and God...not just a piece of paper with the state! We have taken it seriously and we understand that just because we would get a new piece of paper saying we have dissolved our marriage doesn't mean that the covenant with God has been dissolved. That's like saying if I make a promise to you, I don't have to keep that promise if I don't want to do what I promised anymore. The Bible is clear about divorce, check out this article).
"What if he cheats on you?"--well, this kind of goes with the next one so I will answer more in a minute...but--IF (and that isn't really an IF, because he would NEVER do that) I believe we could get through that, with God and forgiveness...if God can forgive me for all the sins I have committed, why can't I forgive the man whom he sent my way for me (and yes, I believe true repentance is needed)?
"What if your husband hits you?"--I can say he would NEVER do that...because I married a Godly man, he was a wonderful, Christian man when I started dating him but we have both grown by leaps and bounds in God since we got married! Now...if I married a man who wasn't a Godly man then I would have to ask myself that question, however I married a Godly man who believes in the word of God and this is what the Bible says about the marriage relationship.
(Ephesians 5:21-28 (The Message))
21. Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another.
22-24. Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ
does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise
submit to their husbands.
25-28. Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ's love makes the
church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant
with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They're really doing themselves a favor—since they're already "one" in marriage.
Now...if a man truly believes all that and chooses to follow God with his heart, how can he hit his wife, how can he cheat on her, how can he divorce her and visa-versa?
You see...I don't understand how with the odds like I posted in the beginning, you can afford NOT to approach marriage from a biblical standpoint! Marriage is hard...anyone who has been married longer than 48 hours knows this! There is NOTHING we can't handle if we focus on God. If there is such a high divorce rate in this country, why aren't people willing to do anything to save their marriage.
There are people who do all kinds of things to save their marriage...they sleep in separate rooms, they have separate lives, they go to numerous therapist, they seek advice of their friends, they go outside their marriage to find pleasure and they open their marriages up to other people, but yet they won't open a book that tells you EXACTLY how to have a great marriage. And for those of you who automatically jump to the bedroom...the Bible even addresses that (just
check out 1 Corinthians 7:1-9).
My point is...my husband hit the nail on the head...we alone can't satisfy each other...but with God, we have every tool we need to satisfy and make the other happy! People need to understand that the only way to get closer to each other is to get closer to God (just take a look)!
If people would focus more on how marriage was created to be instead of making themselves happy...they won't end up just another statistic!